As a submissive, are you willing to allow a Dominant to discipline or punish you in your relationship?
What kinds of punishments can you imagine for bad behavior?
I have mixed feelings about discipline and punishment in a D/s relationship. I haven’t ever thrived under punishment (just ask my mother) and can internalize it instead of moving on. However, I do this with corrections/discussions too so I know it’s more of an internal issue than the method of teaching.
Up until now, we’ve focused on corrections. Being pulled to the side in public and reminded of correct protocols. The Look. Conversations to figure out why I behaved/reacted a certain way, why I did or didn’t do something I was told to do. Was it an honest mistake or did I purposefully do something to act out/get attention/wasn’t in touch where I actually was emotionally that day? It’s definitely not a black and white sort of thing for me.
The other side of this coin for us is the usage of atonement. Where, instead of being punished for an infraction, I seek forgiveness and atonement from Daddy for my mistakes. This is another thing we are exploring and determining if it fits our relationship or not.
For me, it’s not about “allowing” my Dominant to discipline or punish me but about the right path that cultivates our relationship rather than harming it. He has the right to do what he thinks is best for us and he knows how I will respond – or could respond – to different methods. This isn’t to say that we’ve never discussed true punishment – it’s being considered right now actually as we move into a M/s dynamic – but up until the last little while, I’ve been unable to respond to criticism gracefully and honestly. It’s a skill that I still struggle with and I think is important to have when a punishment dynamic exists.
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