What’s your safeword?
If you don’t want to have one, why not?
I don’t really have a safeword. I did in a prior relationship but I couldn’t tell you what it was. Now, I lean towards a stoplight system (red – stop immediately, yellow – slow down/check-in, green – I’m good, don’t stop) or direct communication. Daddy will have me squeeze his fingers if I’m non-verbal and he has put in the effort to learn many of my body’s cues to know when he can go a little longer and when he needs to slow down. Having a consistent and constant play partner has its advantages!
It’s not that I don’t believe in a regular safeword, it’s that I don’t see them as the best way to communicate during a scene for me. I don’t always want to communicate out loud in a scene. It can break my space and jar me back into the reality I’m trying to escape. I’ve had wonderful hot scenes where my tops ask how I’m doing without using that language specifically and it didn’t break my space. To me, that’s an invaluable skill and I love playing with tops who ask me how I’m doing while grinding a boot into my skin.
