Some rules determine behavior in public, others are about private behavior. Some rules may be more common but there’s no right or wrong here. Do you know what kind of rules you may want or need in your relationship?
I like rules in the sense that I like structure. I “grew up” in the scene learning more about protocols and rituals so I lean towards that structure of proactive protocols rather than reactive rules (I was ruminating on the differences between the two and finally asked Daddy when he came up with this gem. Thank you for this amazing comparison!) I don’t want to frame our protocols as rules because they’re not really rules but guidelines on how to behave in specific situations, etc. Protocols are how to do the thing well.
I enjoy rules and/or protocols that are focused on bringing our dynamic into focus. I walk on his right side, slightly behind. Daddy sits at a restaurant first and tells me where to sit. We have rituals that help with my weekly planning and chores. We have a ritual that I take off his boots before bed and it creates a moment to remind ourselves that the dynamic is always there no matter how either of us felt that day.
As I’m writing this, I’m trying to think of other things I would want and I’m at a loss. I’m sure I will talk to Daddy later today and come up with fifteen other things.
