Some rules determine behavior in public, others are about private behavior. Some rules may be more common but there’s no right or wrong here.
I like rules in the sense that I like structure. I “grew up” in the scene learning more about protocols and rituals so I lean towards that structure of proactive protocols rather than reactive rules (I was ruminating on the differences between the two and finally asked Daddy when he came up with this gem. Thank you for this amazing comparison!) I don’t want to frame our protocols as rules because they’re not really rules but guidelines on how to behave in specific situations, etc. Protocols are how to do the thing well.
I enjoy rules and/or protocols that are focused on bringing our dynamic into focus. I walk on his right side, slightly behind. Daddy sits at a restaurant first and tells me where to sit. We have rituals that help with my weekly planning and chores. We have a ritual that I take off his boots before bed and it creates a moment to remind ourselves that the dynamic is always there no matter how either of us felt that day.
I enjoy rules and protocols that shape my life around the dynamic and remind me that he has power over my life. Anything that helps keep the dynamic at the forefront of my mind as I move through the day is very powerful for me. It’s not that I forget about the dynamic, but it’s about having those little reminders throughout the day that make me smile and remind me why I’m doing this. I also appreciate rules that help me control negative habits (spending excessive money, for example). They are things that I want help with, haven’t been able to handle on my own, and Daddy is willing to step in and give some guidance.
Rules should help your dynamic, not hinder it. And, if they aren’t working, then throw them out! Don’t be afraid to get rid of things that are weighing you down. Customize your dynamic to you and your partner, not the other way around.
