For almost five months last year, we lived in different states, visiting each other when we could while sorting out a move and a new job. We weren’t expecting to be long-distance for that long. Our relationship got thrown into a little bit of chaos as we both dealt with the wildly new situation.
It felt like drifting in some ways, doing things day to day without his constant guidance. We tried to talk every day if we could, even if it was just a handful of texts. The situation was odd and hopefully one we won’t ever have to repeat again. Coming back together was difficult and bumpy.
I’m not sure what we’d do differently if we ended up long-distance again. Now, when he travels for work, or I go visit my family, it’s easier and less painful. We still text, I travel with the stuffies he’s given me, and I try to defer to him on some decisions (sometimes I end up in situations where I have to use my best judgment instead). When I stay at home, he can leave me with a weekly chore list like always and expect me to behave the same as if he was home.
The dynamic has strengthened immensely and I think that’s been a key factor in how we handle long-distance now. We both have a solid handle on who we are and how we interact in this relationship and it’s not something that can be turned on and off. Knowing that we’ll always come back together and have a strong dynamic, no matter how long or far apart we’ve been, helps ease the strain of being apart in the first place. It’s comforting to know that we will pick up where we left off and be just as solid as we were before.
