Have you ever considered D/s without a sexual component?
Would you be interested in something like it?
How important is sex to your current or future D/s relationship?
These are just a few things to think about if the concept is new to you.
This is a topic I’ve thought a lot about over the years, both in regards to how I talk about it with other people and what I need for myself in a dynamic or scene. I have moved from saying that sex is never needed during BDSM play to sex is okay to have during play to acknowledging that there is a full spectrum of how BDSM and sex can interact. As long as you’ve negotiated what you want and are clear about the limits between you and your partner, you should do whatever you like!
I honestly don’t think I could engage in a long-term full-time power exchange dynamic with someone without sex being involved. I attempted it once but ultimately was unhappy and had to renegotiate. I enjoy being sexual and to leave it 100% off the table in this kind of situation makes me uncomfortable. It is one of the major ways that I enjoy connecting with my partners and I don’t enjoy long-term, intimate relationships where that isn’t an option. Friends are, of course, a different thing.
However, playing with someone, during a scene, I don’t mind having sexual components off the table. It’s different. I don’t need sex to feel like a scene is complete. I enjoy play for the sake of play whatever form that takes. I tend to prefer play without sexual components in fact because it shifts my headspace. I find it much easier to have sex after play as part of aftercare rather than during.
