30 Days of D/s – When a D/s Relationship Ends

a closeup of a notebook that says you are enough

I’ve been in two other D/s relationships.

The first was solely online. I learned a lot from him and about myself. He released me because he saw I was falling for another person, someone who I was more likely to have an in-person relationship with.

Which I did. For five years. The dynamic faded before the relationship ended.

I haven’t experienced the ending of a vanilla relationship exactly, so I don’t have anything to compare the pain of a D/s relationship ending to. With power exchange, there’s so much trust and honesty that has to go into it in order for it to work. I feel that I didn’t have those things in my prior two relationships and it made it easier to let go of them. Having a dynamic fade before the relationship ended was rough because it caused me to think about what was wrong with me. Ultimately, we both wanted different things out of a relationship and compromising wasn’t going to work for either of us. I needed a full-time power dynamic and he wasn’t able to give that to me.

When it comes to ending a dynamic, I know I took much of it as a self-worth issue and it took me time to separate the ending of the dynamic from what I perceived as a failure on my part. Sometimes relationships are only meant to last for so long and it’s not anything that the participating parties did or didn’t do. After my longer relationship ended, I got involved with my friends, got into the community more, and found support and myself through things I had skipped before for one reason or another.

I healed. And I’m in a wonderful deeper dynamic as a result of it.

Read the rest of my 30 Days of D/s posts here

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