Last month Daddy and I were able to attend a class by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny which was amazing! They talked about total power exchange and internal enslavement. If you’re able to go to a class of theirs, I really recommend it.
They brought plenty of their books with them and I finally got my hands on a copy of Real Service. This is one of the books both Raven and Joshua have written together and this book absolutely benefits by being written by people from both sides of the slash. I would love to see more books in the future written by M/s couples.
Real Service is broken up into two parts: Figuring Out Service and Skillsets. Figuring Out Service is the bulk of the book, broken up into essays covering various topics including motivations for service, integrating a s-type into the M-type’s routine, and questioning orders. Skillsets are lists of skills in various areas ranked from remedial to advanced which are designed to give ideas and encourage discussion of service in “real world” terms.
The book is primarily geared towards service-oriented submissives, people who are involved in service-based relationships but maybe aren’t particularly fond of service, and also the M-types who want to receive service, give orders, and some of the managing skills that are needed. This book is not directed towards any particular gender for either side of the slash. There is a great essay about gender and service regarding the baggage we can bring into a relationship about our gender and assumptions about service.
Upsetting a few of the props holding up a servant’s social gender (and their assumptions therein) can be another way in which the M-type redefines the s-type’s identity as “whatever I want it to be, not what you’ve been taught all your life that is should be.”
Kaldera and Tenpenny are focused on Real Service – skills grounded in the real world. This goes beyond fetish services, sexy services, fantasy services. It’s reflected in the usage of the word ‘servant’ rather than submissive or slave. There are times where they may switch between submissive or s-type but this is a book about service and its reflected in every detail. They explore reasons for service, what people get out of it, what obedience looks like, and what service actually looks like. Much of the text also explores ways for the s-type to accept and bend to the Master’s will.
There are a few essays directed towards M-types directly including one of my favorites titled “The Annoyance Factor”. This essay is written only by Kaldera and explores his struggle with managing a slave. He talks about the desire to have protocols for the sake of protocols and the pitfalls of having too many. The Annoyance Factor comes into play when he realizes that the best protocols are the ones that reduce his annoyance the most. I love this outlook on protocols and how to utilize them within a relationship. Ultimately, isn’t so much of a service relationship really about making life easier for the M-type?
I look at the [protocols] that were left – the ones that I’d consistently been able to notice and chek up on – and figured out what they had in common. For every one of them, their lack of appearance created an immediate annoyance for me.
Who Should Read This
If you’re interested in what service looks like outside of sexy or fetish focused service, you should read this book. I love bootblacking and cigar service as much as the next leather boy but, in reality, this doesn’t make up the bulk of my service to Daddy. Real Service will give you plenty of ideas as to what “counts” as service.
It’s also perfect for the M-type that is struggling to come up with things to order their s-type to do. There are some great chapters on integrating a s-type into your daily routine, ways to accept service, and great actionable methods for troubleshooting disobedient servants. Lots of books focus on the theory of M/s but Real Service digs into giving you things you can apply to your dynamic today.
If you’re like me and don’t really identify as a service s-type, I still encourage you to pick up this book. Yes, the focus is on service and being a servant to your M-type but there’s also a lot of excellent thought on making your M-type’s priorities yours, how to start letting go of the need to be right, and ways to questions orders respectfully.
I absolutely love this book and it’s definitely in my Top 10 from now on. This is one of those books I’m tempted to buy copies of to give to people.
I wouldn’t self-describe as a service-submissive but Real Service prompted so many good thoughts about what I do consider my service to be, what I think it looks like, and what I want it to look like. It’s also sparked a couple of interesting conversations with Daddy about what all of this looks like from his end and I find those conversations just as valuable as the book itself.
I’m sure I’ll be referring to sections of this book in future posts and am glad I took notes while reading. It’s another I’ll be rereading in the future. Daddy is looking forward to reading it himself now that I’ve spent a week chatting about it.
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