I don’t know about y’all but I am managing to read quite a bit lately. Mind you, it’s been a dozen YA novels and nothing kink related, but at least I’m reading! I thought I’d try to get my brain back on the BDSM track and write up a list of books to read if you’re looking for something new. So here are a few books to read if…
You’re Thinking About Your Dynamic:
Written in both Dan and dawn’s point of view, Living M/s explores Total Power Exchange relationships and what it is like to live in a dynamic in real life. Exploring authenticity, why they choose to live in a M/s dynamic, communication, pitfalls – this book covers a lot. If you’re looking for a book that reflects true life experience, I recommend this one. It’s much closer to a book about M/s than a book on how to do M/s.
I’ve reviewed Real Service and it’s now one of my favorite books. Also written in the forms of essays by both Raven and Joshua, Real Service digs into what practical service looks like. Service isn’t always blowjobs and sometimes it’s hard to imagine doing the laundry as an M/s task. If you’re looking for service ideas or are exploring the idea of service within your dynamic (from either side of the slash!), this is a very helpful book.
I read the first version of this book years ago and enjoyed reading the updated version. While this book can be a little bit dry in parts (it’s written in a fairly academic tone), there is a deep wealth of information here. Rubel and Fairfield cover different models of M/s relationships, roles, finding a partner, negotiations and contracts, mechanics of an M/s relationship, and all the way to maintaining an M/s relationship. This is a book to take your time with, make notes on, and reread.
Don’t be worried if you’re not interested in M/s as a specific power exchange model – all of these books explore power exchange. Like anything else, take what works for you and leave the rest.
You’re Up For Introspection:
This book changed my life. I’m past due for a reread (and I want the new edition!) but this book made me feel seen in a way I hadn’t in my early 20’s. It helped me realize that non-monogamy did feel right to me and why. The Ethical Slut explores intimacy, relationships, having sex while coupled or single, connecting with others, and more. Even if you’re not interested in non-monogamy, this book can challenge you on how you currently think about intimacy, sex, and relationships to other people.
I snagged this book last month and skimmed it with delight. I hope to start working my way through it pretty soon. In general, I’m not a fan of workbooks but Blanton’s book is full of thoughtful questions that go beyond the expected “what is dominance/submission to you?” type questions. Blanton also includes essays, exercises, and activities that can help you see how to apply submission to real world scenarios.
Another book that I’ve reviewed, Conquer Me was a surprisingly thoughtful book. Cunningham touches on some 101 level stuff and also touches on some deeper introspective stuff – the chapter about the “conquer me” feeling is one that has stuck with me and helped me express things to Daddy more easily. If you’re newer to dynamics, this is a really great book to spend some time with.
You Want Something Hot:
This book was formative, hot, affirming, and filthy. Leather Daddy isn’t for everyone but if you’re into seedy bars, gender fuckery, and a lot of really filthy sex, it’s for you. When I think about queer Leathersex, this book really encapsulates it.
Perhaps almost a cult classic at this point, The Marketplace Series is one of the best portrayals of deep service and submission that I’ve read. Maybe a little unrealistic but who doesn’t love the idea of slave training academies and being bought by Dominants with no say in the matter? All of the books are great fun, hot, and filled with little gems you’ll want to write down and think about later.
Rachel Kramar Bussel edits a lot of anthologies and all of the ones that I’ve read are curated perfectly. Big Book of Submission has 69 short stories ranging from the classic teacher-student affair to female Domination and more. Each one is tight, concise, filled with vivid characters, and beautiful explorations of submission.
What about you? What are you reading right now? Kink and BDSM related stuff or something else? Leaning into fluffy fiction or something more sturdy to keep your brain engaged? Let me know in the comments, I’m always looking for more good books!
Also check out my BDSM Books page for even more titles!
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