Sexism and Dominance

content warning: this post touches on transphobia, sexism, misogyny, and related topics

I’ll be honest, I’ve spent more time writing and deleting things for this post than I normally allow myself to. It crossed my mind to skip this No True Way prompt because I struggled to write a coherent, composed post. But I think a prompt that has stirred up that much thought is worth spending time with even if my feelings were, and still are, “fuck that noise”.

MALEDOM IS NOT A FETISH

While the so-called “femdom” is just a sick roleplaying fetish for weak manginas and penis-envious feminists, but Maledom is just the natural and healthy law of human nature, which determines that Male is the Superior sex.

NTW #9

I hate it! This terrible quote that has packed so many horrible, horrible concepts into less than 40 words! I hate it! Transphobia, sexism, misogyny, alpha male complex!

A Dangerous World View

There are plenty of BDSM myths that people assert are the “right way” to do BDSM and, normally, I let it go. Your expectations of how a slave should act affects your slave, not me. But this belief is dangerous, hateful, and plain wrong. How many women believe that they are never “allowed” to explore their dominance because this belief is pushed on them? How many men are forced into dominant roles even though it doesn’t make their heart sing? How many trans folk are pushed out of BDSM spaces because this becomes pervasive and spaces are hostile?

Look, if you get off on sexist tropes and this idea that vaginas are weak and stupid and that women are always inferior, whatever. YKINMK and all that. My issue is when this is a person’s world view, when it becomes a thing that they push upon other people and expect all women to bow down to them because they have a dick to swing around. Which is exactly what this quote does.

People of all genders have all kinds of genital configurations and none of it has to do with how dominant or submissive a person is! I’ve been dominated by people with vaginas and penises and genitals I’m not going to try and rudely guess. What people have going on underneath their clothes matters so little to the core of Dominance and submission. Leaning on this viewpoint to establish your dominance, in my opinion, means you don’t really understand D/s. There is a difference between domineering and dominating and weaponizing sexism puts you straight into the domineering category.

You Should Pick This Apart

I could probably write a few thousand words picking this quote apart bit by bit, word by word, exploring everything from the transphobia, sexism, superiority complex, misunderstanding of power exchange, etc. Ultimately, I challenge you, reader, to think about these things.

Do you see the obvious transphobia here? Do you see why this concept is horrible to push on other people? Do you see all the things I do? Does your stomach knot up the way mine does when you meet people who are like this? Do you push back or do you let this belief poison your community?

Because you should. You should see this quote for what it is: a gross interpretation of dominance based on outdated pseudoscience and gender roles. A belief that a person is inherently lesser for simply having a cunt. A belief that men who consensually serve dominant women are “sick” and “weak”. A belief that feminism and female dominance is penis-envy and not an ethical/moral system or fetish.

And if you don’t see these things easily, take some time to figure out why. Do some research. Ask questions. The more we learn, the better we can understand why this kind of belief is wrong and dangerous, the better we can counter it. Growth and inclusion should be our goal and allowing this sexist nonsense to exist is as dangerous as believing it.

No True Way

One thought on “Sexism and Dominance

  1. Three words say it all “I hate it”!
    Thank you so much for your thoughts. I agree with you in many, many levels.
    And a view like that shouldn’t be left just standing, it needs to be addressed.

    Lilly

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