Submission isn’t about what you want to do.
NTW #47
In our world, submission is not just giving up control but accepting another person’s control. It’s the alignment of our wills – becoming one with my dominant until all of my actions, thoughts, ethics, etc, are guided by him seamlessly.
Under this definition, the nitpicky things of what I want and don’t want aren’t relevant to my submission because the overall picture, and driving force, of my submission is to be his. To be completely owned by him, heart and soul. To have each and every one of my actions and thoughts touched by him, formed by him, so that there is no part of me uninfluenced by his will.
So, no, submission isn’t about what I want to do. It’s about being his slave, no matter what that takes.
In reality, there are plenty of things that I do that I don’t enjoy doing. I absoutely pouted last night when he asked me to go upstairs to get him dinner although I was prepared to do it. I was tired and didn’t want to climb the stairs for the millionth time that day. But I would have done it because I serve him and it would please him for me to get him dinner.
I want to please him. I want him to be content and happy and satisfied, both with life and with my service. My submission is part of that service which means doing things that I don’t want to do sometimes. There have been so many times that Daddy’s smile or a murmured ‘good girl’ has wiped away the pout or feelings of annoyance that it’s hard to say that I get nothing out of doing things I don’t want to do. That moment of knowing I’ve made his life easier or better in some way is something I crave, I savor.
In return, Daddy wants to meet my needs. A happy slave makes life easier, after all.
We follow a model we picked up over the years where the slave’s needs override the Master’s wants but the Master’s needs override the slave’s wants. For example, my need to do work or homework has been placed over Daddy’s need for me to do chores on certain days. My need to take physical breaks is more important than his desire for me to kneel on the floor for three hours.
On the flip side, his need for a clean home environment so he can focus on work is more important than my want for a lazy nap. Daddy’s need for certain things to be planned out before he goes to the store or we go on a trip is more important than my want to watch tv or something.
This balance has helped us deepend our dominance and submission. Does it always work perfectly? No. But it’s a guideline. It helps us see what our M/s looks like in day to day situations.
My submission isn’t about what I want in the sense of what I want to do today. My submission is about what I want in the sense that I want to be controlled by Daddy. I submit to him because I want to be his slave. I choose every day to keep wearing this collar, to honor our contract and commit to each other, just as he does. And if that means I need to go up the stairs one more time today to please him, then I will.
