The Butler Book

If you’re in the world of service submission, you may have heard of the butler book. Butler books are something that frequently comes up in service circles. They may also be called household management books/binders or service journals. The purpose is to keep track of tasks, how-tos, preferences, and other things that are relevant to running a household.

So what goes in a butler book?

A butler book should be tailored to you and your household. If you don’t want to track meal preferences, then don’t! If you want to track clothing measurements or explain the correct way to make the bed, then do that! Butler books should work for you in whatever way makes you happy.

You probably already track lots of things! Think about what you’re already trying to keep track of or know how to do and write them down. You can then make groups of similar things and create smaller categories within those groups.

If you’re struggling, here’s a list of some things you can think about tracking:

  • Finances, budgeting
  • Health and wellness
  • Clothing and appearance
  • Technology preferences
  • Sex
  • Substance use
  • Negotiations, checklists
  • Bucket lists
  • Contacts
  • Scene follow-ups
  • Rituals, rules, protocols
  • Daily schedules
  • Running inventory of items (groceries)
  • Preferred shopping stores
  • Favorite things other than food – books, music, movies, video games

Creating your butler book

One of the first things you should think about is the format of your butler book. Do you want a physical or electronic one? Do you need to split things up into multiple locations for ease or security?

What parts do you need to reference easily and quickly and what parts can be put on a shelf?

I need access to our shared calendar constantly so it’s electronic rather than in the BB. I need to keep track of new protocols easily so those are written in my planner and updated in the contract.

Consider what your Dominant needs access to. What is easiest for them?

Take time to decide what information you want to keep track of and sort them into categories. Start big and work your way down to smaller sections.

Updating the butler book

Don’t stress too much about getting your butler book perfect the first time you write it. Your butler book should be a functioning, evolving document that you update periodically. If you find information in there that you don’t need, take it out. Update preferences, add in new information, and whatever you need to do to keep things updated.

Decide how often you want to update your butler book. Weekly, monthly, quarterly? Or do you want to look at it daily like a planner or habit tracker? Remember, this is all about you and how you want to function.

My butler book

I designed my butler book to be more of a household manual. It could be handed to another s-type and they could come in and run everything the same. There are things that I use my planner for, or other programs such as Google Calendar, that could go in a butler book but I find these methods work better for me.

My butler book is split up into 7 sections:

  • Cleaning and Home Care
  • Grocery & Pantry
  • Hospitality
  • Dungeon Space
  • Home Maintenance
  • Sensitive Data
  • Dynamic Paperwork

Each of these sections has smaller sections. For example, cleaning and home care has the sections: house reset day, priorities, products and scents, seasonal cleaning, historical/family/collectible items, and cleaning safety tips.

These are the sections that I find essential right now. I suspect that I will add on or expand each of these sections in the future but this works great for me right now.

My butler book is printed out and kept in a 1/2” binder. It’s kept in my office for me to reference. Daddy knows where it is in case he wants to look through it for any reason.

Learn more about butler books from

You can purchase my class notes for my Personal Assistants, Butlers, and Butler Books class here on my Ko-Fi.

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